Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
Randomize
