yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
Randomize
