I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
You ever have a fart follow you around?
Randomize
