Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
Randomize
