and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
this just has baby written all over it
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
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