I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
Randomize
