carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
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