i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
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