Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
It's been two dates and she just invited me to her aunts funeral. I can't even. Who the fuck does that? I need to drink I'm coming to get you in 5
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
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