She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
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Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
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I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
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