i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
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