Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
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