I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
Randomize
