I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
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