She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
Randomize
