Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
Randomize
