ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
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