She's JV to your varsity
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
Randomize
