Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
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