Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(570): View more from Pennsylvania

my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"

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(217): View more from Illinois

i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.

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(414): View more from Wisconsin

we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone

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(609): View more from New Jersey

imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.

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(610): View more from Pennsylvania

You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...

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(404): View more from Georgia

Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?

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(816): View more from Missouri

As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...

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(330): View more from Ohio

This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.

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(914): View more from New York

Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.

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