Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
Randomize
