Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
I'm taking a dump and eating a fortune cookie and it said "Force it to be successful"
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
Randomize
