..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
Randomize
