HIV tests are more positive than that guy
I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
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