That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
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