we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
Houston, we have a squirter
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
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