They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
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