i jhust puked up my retainher.
so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
Randomize
