so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize