I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
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