What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
I should be sponsored by Trojan
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
