yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin
was*
True, R.I.P.
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
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