I looked at my own cervix.
I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
you're close to getting here right? Because if you're still not here and I have to get dressed to answer the door for the pizza guy, i'm tipping him $100 on your credit card to spite you
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
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