she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
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