If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
Omg worst high ever. I'm watching Parks and Rec, and all i can think about is how andy, leslie, and tom are my closest friends. Forever alone.
Randomize
