Yo dont text me then not text me
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
Randomize
