girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
Randomize
