I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
Randomize
