Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
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But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
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On a brief change if topic, last night I dreamt I got shit faced with bill Nye the science guy and we went bar to bar and explained the science of alcohol to everyone who'd give us free drinks. We wore bow ties
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
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