Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
i came home at 4 a.m. and made a dozen eggs and three lbs. of bacon. my mom woke up and the only thing she was pissed about was that i used the whole carton of eggs, but then she sat down and ate with me
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
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