doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
Dear god my vagina.
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