Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
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