You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
Randomize
