i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
Your first words after putting out the flames, "how am I supposed to eat girls out with my top lip burned off??"
Yeah no more flaming everclear shots.
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
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