I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
Randomize