is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
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