tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
When are your genitals available?
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
So... I sharted on the plane. It was hard to maintain my composure and acted offended at the same time. I hate you for not cutting me off last night.
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
Randomize
