dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
Randomize
