I was so drunk last night i ate cereal with a fork.
i may or may not be watching the land before time
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
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I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
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The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?