windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
These People Had Regrettable One Night Stands
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
This Girl Makes Latte Art That’s Too Cute to Drink
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.