New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
New game I thought of while bored on the train. Anytime I get a text from an ex, I will randomly text a different ex. It's like a less charitable version of pay it forward.
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
Randomize
