if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
Randomize
