I need help removing her.
You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
I forgot i ate a salad for dinner, so while i was barfing in his toilet, i kept screaming "i ate leaves?? i cant believe you let me eat leaves!"
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
Fav 3 1048 609 share tweet
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
Randomize
