Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
Randomize
