she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
I'm at the store buying a new phone cause I pissed all over mine last night. Drunk me is expensive as shit.
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
Randomize
