I was high as a kite when I got pulled over by a cop and he asked me for my ID and if I had been smoking weed, I said no and gave him my debit card.
i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
handjob tips. give me some.
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I just walked into the bathroom, and there was this kid, talking to his mom, while taking a shit. I flushed the toilet next to him and heard him say into the phone, "No, I'm not. I'm in my dorm."
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
Randomize