Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Randomize
