Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
We talked him into tasing himself.
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
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