No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
Randomize
