spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
turns out the guy i was dating because he was a cop was not actually a cop. i learned this as he got arrested by real cops.
Just toasted a glass of brandy with my own reflection to my dimples. Why are you not here?
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
A+ Viking dick
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
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