Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
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