and i looked up. we had an audience...
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
Randomize
